“Hello?”
“Hi! Yes, it’s Jim. Jim from Match.com.”
“Oh, hey! Good timing.”
“Yes, well, as you know, I’m your Case Manager. I’m just calling to see how things are going.”
“Really? Wow. You guys over there at Match.com work this late?”
“Well, a Case Manager like me does. I have a lot of you women to keep track of, you know. I do what I can to make sure you gals get plenty of action.”
“Well, I’m glad you called.”
“Yah, well, listen. I was just reviewing your file and noticed you haven’t been getting many hits. Any hits. No winks. No messages in the inbox. Nothing happening for quite some time now.”
“Well, my toilet’s clogged up.”
“I don’t see how that has anything to do with this.”
“Really? How do you expect me to get a date when my toilet doesn’t work? How could I have a man over if there was no place to… you know…?”
“Mmhmm. But back to the point of my call this evening. I was thinking we should get together. Take a look at your profile. Analyze it. See what’s turning the guys away.”
“Okay. How about tomorrow?”
“Mmm, I don’t know. I’m awfully busy…”
“But, you’re my Case Manager.”
“Okay, tomorrow works.”
“My place?”
“Sure.”
“And maybe you could take a look at my toilet while you’re here.”
Photo credit: http://www.welovedates.com
This post was written for the Weekly Writing Challenge: Dialogue. “Begin a post with a scene that includes dialogue.”
http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/09/16/writing-challenge-dialogue/
A String of Pearls 
Sep 17, 2013 @ 12:30:03
Hilarious. Date: Tue, 17 Sep 2013 12:34:28 +0000 To: beverly_horyza@live.com
Sep 17, 2013 @ 13:40:32
Glad you liked it, mom. Jim does this Case Manager role playing thing quite often and I become the match.com reject he is trying to improve. He often suggests that I Iearn how to cook to keep my dates happy.
Sep 17, 2013 @ 12:38:51
Very entertaining, quite witty. 🙂 I wonder if it’s cheaper than paying a plumber?
Sep 17, 2013 @ 13:36:46
I’m glad you found this entertaining because I sure did. But, I realize that, decontextualized, some may not get it. Someday, I will write the Paul Harvey rest-of-the-story and you’ll see just how much that clog cost me.